Gratitude

“Gratitude is one of the most visible characteristics of the poor I have come to know. I am always surrounded by words of thanks: ‘thanks for your visit, your blessings, your sermon, your prayer, your gifts, your presence with us.’ Even the smallest and most necessary goods are a reason for gratitude. This all-pervading gratitude is the basis for celebration. Not only are the poor grateful for life, but they also celebrate life constantly. A visit, a reunion, a simple meeting are always like little celebrations. Every time a new gift is recognized, there are songs or toasts, words of congratulations or something to eat and drink and every gift is shared. ‘Have a drink, take some fruit, eat our bread’ is the response to every visit I make, and this is what I see people do for each other. All of life is a gift, a gift to be celebrated, a gift to be shared. Thus the poor are a Eucharistic people, people who know to say thanks to God, to life, to each other. They may not come to mass, they may not participate in many church celebrations. But in their hearts they are deeply religious because for them all of life is a life-long fiesta with God.” – Henri Nouwen

Found this...one of my co-workers caught me day dreaming

We have one month left in Ecuador…I cannot believe that we are already nearing the end of our year. Because of the expected upcoming craziness of transitioning the new volunteers in soon and the many good-byes, this is most likely the last post I will send from Ecuador.

There is no simple way to neatly tie together this year. However, there is one word that I have used consistently throughout this year for many reasons to describe my experience in Ecuador: gratitude. During our 9-month volunteer retreat I wrote a reflection in my journal on gratitude. I thought I would share this with you all as my final post:

One of the strongest feelings on my heart entering in these last three months (now one month) is gratitude. I am blessed to be here. It has been a heavy, difficult, and draining past three months, yet I am filled with gratitude. I have learned this gratitude from the example that my neighbors live.

I am grateful for my now 10 minute walk to Hogar de Cristo (my work placement) – it is the only time of day that I am not concerned with schedule or what I “should” be doing, my mind can wander.

I am grateful for all of the pseudo-moms that I have here in Ecuador: Fernanda, Elisa, Monica, Jessica, and Eli. They feed me, care for me, laugh with me (and at me!), and vent with me.

I am grateful for my own mother and my family and friends who have supported me without question in this year and who have tried to understand and share in the reality I am living in and how it is shaping me – for their love, openness, and support.

I am grateful for health care – that I am part of the small percentage of the world with access to adequate care to stay healthy in this year.

I am grateful for growing up in an environment that shaped me as a strong and confident woman with limitless life options. Many women are not so fortunate – machismo in Ecuador is not conducive to building self-esteem.

I am grateful for my volunteer community – for their presence accompanying me in this year, molding and challenging me along the way.

I am grateful for the numerous ways I have stepped out of my comfort zone in this year and for how that in turn has strengthened me, even when I felt weak.

I am grateful for laughs with Elisa and Fernanda that always take the edge off of a difficult day. I’ve learned laughter is like medicine for the spirit.

I am grateful for the vulnerability, spirituality, and insights of Monica – she has filled these pages (of my journal) with her wisdom and taught me so much.

I am grateful for Brittany, my 6-year old friend, who without fail sits with me at the 8am San Felipe Mass each week – she has been an image of God.

I am grateful for María Jose, a 4^th grader at our afterschool program – she too has been an image of God for me. From the first day she has showered me with hugs and taught me in my first few months of feeling inadequate not speaking fluently that love is not based off perfection, she hugged and laughed with me anyways.

I am grateful for the daily check-ins with Carolina and Myra at their vegetable stand and with Elisa at her pharmacy, whether they be for 1 minute or 1 hour. The laughs, hugs, and silly handshakes always give the energy to continue throughout the day.

I am grateful for the countless neighbors, young children, and store owners who I may not even be on a first name basis with. But who I exchange smiles, waves, hugs, and greetings to everyday. Their warmth and kindness makes me feel at home here in Mount Sinai.

I am grateful for a God who never blinks – who is watching with me, crying with me, and laughing with me withHis/Her hand upon my back.

Cultivating this deep sense of gratitude opens my eyes to the faces of Christ alive and present here in Ecuador. It centers and grounds me in the mission of the work I am doing. It energizes me to continue ministering and sustains me in trials and suffering. It humbles me daily. I am truly blessed.

Desalojos...

A new Spanish vocabulary word for me that I have not gone a day without hearing these past couple of months is desalojo: eviction.

A couple of months ago President Correa announced his intention to evict families living in invasion communities, including my home Mount Sinai. Mount Sinai is an invasion community in which landowners technically do not have legal rights to their land. This land was originally designated for agricultural purposes, but the men put in charge trafficked the land and sold it as residential property. Most people living in Mount Sinai paid for their land and have a document from the original land traffickers as proof, but this is worthless in the government’s eyes. In January 2011 President Correa refused to turn a blind eye to this any longer. All families who had bought land from the original land traffickers could stay, but no further construction could occur.

Fast forward to present day and the President’s eyes are once again on Mount Sinai. A satellite photo was taken in December 2010 during the President’s announcement and another was taken recently. These photos are being compared and all new homes are being marked for eviction. Families receive a two-week notice. Most families, however, have absolutely no where else to move to. When the two-week mark is up, police, military, and bull dozers come in and forcefully remove people and then destroy their home, leaving a path of destruction in their wake.

Mount Sinai is a HUGE area, with more than 274,000 people living here according to a Hogar de Cristo (my worksite) study. Therefore, this will be a long and arduous process. Evictions thus far have taken place outside of the consolidated area where my home is by the afterschool program we work at.

Greater than the actual danger any of my neighbors may be in is the psychological panic. A lack of clear information being distributed by the government and the newspapers means that news is mostly spread through gossip, some accurate and some not. It is always a topic of conversation. It is always a worry, an anxiety, and a fear of my neighbors.

Mount Sinai sits with a heavy air of uncertainty and fear over it. I too sit helplessly and vulnerably watching on as this all occurs.

Please keep in your prayers this community, the neighbors who sit in fear for the future of their homes, and the evicted families with nobody to turn to and nowhere to go to start over. 

View from afterschool program before

After

Random Life Updates from Ecuador...

 

Overlooking Guayquil

The past month has FLOWN BY (I feel like I am always beginning blog posts like this!). Here are a few brief updates on life in Ecuador

Merrimack College

We have had three great consecutive retreat groups staying with us: St. Joseph’s University, John Carroll University, and Merrimack College. I led the St. Joe’s and Merrimack groups. They have brought a lot of life to me and our Mount Sinai community…and definitely kept me busy! We have our last two high school groups coming down this month.

With María Jose

   School and the afterschool program began again in the beginning of May (“summer vacation” takes place in February, March, and April here, during the worst of the rainy season). So a lot of free time in the neighborhood has been spent helping kids with math, English, computers etc. homework again. It has been really great to return to the afterschool program – I really missed those kids during break! They constantly humble me, ground me, and bring out my true authentic self…not to mention I laugh non-stop there!

   In the beginning of May before the craziness of the peak of retreat group season began my community spent a night at the beach in Montañita. It was a great little break and time to bond with community! While this year is not about traveling and tourism, I have been fortunate enough to travel a bit and experience the true natural beauty of the Ecuadorian coast.

During the school break one of my community mates, Heidi, taught a ballet class. A lot of my little friends participated in her class so a lot of time visiting them was spent dancing and applauding them. Even though I can in no way dance ballet, they appreciated (and laughed a lot!!) at my effort. I went to the final recital to cheer them on.

 And lastly we celebrated Mother’s Day and Children’s Day in this past month. On Mother’s Day I spent time with and made little cards for the five women who for me have served as mothers in this year. That night we all went to Eliza’s and enjoyed a turkey dinner to celebrate the day. We also joined in on the Children’s Day celebrations at the San Felipe Neri school and our parish, Corpus Cristi, by singing songs, playing games, and dancing.

We are within our last two months in Ecuador. It is hard to believe it is already time to begin winding down. It will definitely be a fast and emotional couple months ahead.

Retreat Groups!

Retreat group season is in full swing! It is an important and large part of our year in Ecuador so I thought I would take advantage of our 36 hour break between groups and write a short post on it.

11 colleges and high schools will visit Mount Sinai during our year. Each group of about 10-14 students has one volunteer leader. In Sinai, while there is only one leader who stays with the group the entire week, it truly is a group effort splitting up cooking, driving, and translating responsibilities.

The groups come down after months of preparation to live a week by our pillars (simplicity, hospitality, community, spirituality, and service) and in solidarity with our neighbors. They embrace the Rostro mantras: “Participate don´t anticipate” and “Being instead of doing.”

This past week I FINALLY led my first retreat group. An AMAZING group of 12 individuals from St Joseph´s University came down and brightened our home and our community with their presence. We visited my community mate’s worksites at the San Felipe Neri school, Damien House, Nuevo Mundo school, and Casa Don Bosco; visited with some neighbors of Mount Sinai; attended masses; and played a lot of soccer! 

Leading a group summoned in me energy I didn’t know I had and gave me new perspective on my volunteer year. On the last day during a visit with one of my closest neighbors she told the group that they put color back into my face; I had been pale before. While I’m not sure how much truth there is to that as my Ecuadorian neighbors are always exaggerating comments on appearance, she did correctly identify something. I entered the retreat a little burnt out and in a rut with my routine. Experiencing Mount Sinai through fresh eyes regrounded me in my calling to be here and in gratitude for the 10 months I have had here.

We have four more groups to come and I will be leading my second group the beginning of June. These last two months will fly by with many gringos coming in and out of Sinai!

April (and March and February...) Showers Bring May Flowers

We are FINALLY nearing the end of the rainy season here in Ecuador. While the rain has brought destruction and uncertainty to Mount Sinai, it has also undoubtedly intensified the beauty of the sector; an interesting duality.

April was another eventful month here in Sinai. Ill try my best to recap some of the highlights here.

We joined in the unique Semana Santa (Holy Week) and Easter celebrations. On Palm Sunday we walked from the nearby San Felipe Neri School to our main parish, Corpus Cristi, with our palms and a donkey. My 6 year-old friend, Brittany, held my hand the whole way, and at times it seemed like she was leading me through the walk – how symbolic for what this year has been, journeying through a child´s eyes. 

On Good Friday we did a live stations of the cross walking from our chapel Santa Teresa to the San Felipe Neri School. The youth group kids played all the roles and did a fabulous job. It was very moving experience.

We had two wonderful retreat group stay with us this month, University of Detroit Jesuit High School and Fairfield Prep. The next group to come in May will finally be my turn to lead!

 

Visting with my office

At work I spent the beginning of the month visiting homes most affected by the rain and flooding. We wrote reports and helped distribute resources that were donated to Hogar de Cristo.

We had a few special dinners this month. The Madres (nuns) at the San Felipe Neri school where Greg and Heidi teach had us all over for dinner one night and cooked an American classic…pizza! We also had dinner with one of our close neighbors who may be moving soon. Knowing we cannot cook Ecuadorian food well enough to serve it to actual Ecuadorians we turned to another American classic…breakfast for dinner (pancakes, eggs, sausage, and potatoes).

View of the beach from the retreat house

Mt Sinai Community

We closed the month of April and entered our 10^th month here in Ecuador with a volunteer retreat at the beach in Manta. We stayed at a Jesuit retreat center right on the water. It was a restful and relaxing weekend. When asked at the end for one word or sentence to describe what we reflected on during the retreat or are taking from it I chose the word gratitude. While these past three months have been heavy, I feel truly blessed every day to be here in Mount Sinai. I will ground myself in this deep sense of gratitude and draw strength from it in our concluding 3 months in Ecuador.