Poco a Poco: Reflections on Our First Month...

View of Mt Sinai from Church Bell Tower

This past Wednesday (Aug 22^nd) marked our first complete month in Ecuador! It still feels a bit surreal, even one month later. At times I still catch myself taking in these surroundings as our new home as I see a new face or landmark. It is impossible to accurately paint a picture of what this month has been – to encapsulate the feelings of joy felt in breaking bread with our new Ecuadorian neighbors; sorrow in learning about the grave and often unjust situations Mount Sinai citizens experience; uncertainty as we take our first solo steps around the neighborhood and attempt to engage in conversation in Spanish; and excitement at each small success (and I mean small at times - like just nailing a new Spanish phrase) we experience poco a poco. The best I feel I can do at this point to share the experience is to share a few ideas and questions that I’ve been journaling and praying about.

First and foremost, it has been a slow transition process to our new lives here, especially to the level of poverty we will experience. I took a moment to jot in my journal: “We are halfway through our second full day in Ecuador and I cannot fully grasp that these surroundings will be my reality for the next full year. I see dirt roads. I see cane houses. I see trash burning in the streets. I wonder if I will ever be desensitized by the poverty that surrounds me. While it would make my daily life easier, I hope not” (7/24/12). However, it has probably taken me about the entire month to fully let the level of poverty here hit me. Often times these are the streets and the faces that get pushed aside, that get ignored, that people turn their heads away from. In order to enter into this year, I believe part of that is opening my heart to this situation and allowing my heart to be broken open.

One of the biggest obstacles I have faced in this first month, in attempting to live poco a poco and relish in every small success, is letting go. Letting go of the diet I am used to. To the exercise routines I had. To the comforts of home in the US. To my health at times. Honestly, to all control in general. However, that is the reality of the poor. While we live in the same neighborhood, attend the same mass, eat the same food, we will never reach solidarity with the poor. In this year I will never face the same fears and uncertainties. I will never understand what it is like to not know where my next meal will come from. I will never understand fear around receiving medical care. The best I feel I can do is to embrace this loss of control, this uncertainty as experiencing some sense of solidarity with the poor.

Since we have arrived many neighbors we have visited ask us why we came or what work we will be doing here. At times, it feels discouraging to think of the many needs this community has and question what a bunch of recent college graduates can do to address them. However, week by week I think I discover more ways that God intends to use my community mates and me as an instrument of His service. For instance, this past week we had Silvia, the coordinator of church programming, over for dinner. During the school vacation the church hosts a type of camp and invites each of us volunteers to come and teach workshops or skills we may have. She went around asking us what talents we have, giving the example of music and dance from years past. When she got to me I laughed saying I definitely have no musical or artistic talents, but I can play soccer and basketball. She didn’t know why I was downplaying my ability to play sports as a female. She said what an impact seeing a female playing sports with confidence could have on the younger females. This gave me some seed of hope. That while I can do nothing to combat the deeply rooted machismo culture of Latin America, that I may somehow be able to serve as a role model for young girls on their ability to break gender norms, to live empowered lives, and to be symbols of strength.

In my own opinion, half of any friendship or relationship is just showing up. Just sitting in the stands of a sports game or concert with a smiling, supportive face. Or giving a high five after a small success. Words aren’t even necessary. Due to our limited Spanish vocabulary, I have both been embracing this idea and noticing the beauty of simply being present to another. While at times it is easy to feel useless amongst the countless needs the community has, maybe there is value in just our physical presence. Maybe there is value in being an example of a strong female figure playing soccer with the boys. Or a smiling face as mass willing to be dorky, awkward, and stupid stumbling over the words and accompanying hand motions of songs. Or just a willingness to sit in the homes of our neighbors and simply listen. One book that I have been slowly rereading during our time here is Tattoos on the Heart by Greg Boyle. One thing that stood out to me when I first read it a few months ago was his ability to remember each homie’s name. What power there is in being called by name, in recognizing the innate human dignity we all possess. So, while at times I’ve questioned what we are doing here, what we can complete, how we can assist the lives of our neighbors (especially without fluency in Spanish yet!), for this first month I have really just focused on saying hello to every neighbor I pass, calling them by name, and trying to convey my willingness to sit or to walk with them.

While this in no way can summarize what a month this has been, I hope that this better paints a picture of what has been running through my mind as I’ve taken my first steps in Ecuador.

Love and miss you all,

Colleen

Más de una casa, un hogar (More than a house, a home)

Sun setting over our neighborhood; taken over our wall

 Hi friends!

Week 2 in our job placements is going well and we are all starting to find our niches and get into a routine. Mike (the other Rostro vol working in Proyecto Misión) and I have been working out a schedule and reading a lot this week on the Hogar de Cristo organization, the demographics of Mount Sinai, and the National Development plan of President Rafael Correa. Additionally, all of us are helping out once a week at Ana´s after school program called Ave María (I go every Tuesday). It services children in the Mount Sinai area whose parents work very late or who have very rough home situations. And lastly, I am the Rostro de Cristo accountant and hope to learn more through this position on the inner-workings of an international non-profit.

I wanted to focus this post on my primary placement, community organizing at Hogar de Cristo. In order to understand the work I will be doing, it is first important to grasp the situation we live in now.

Mount Sinai is an invasion community that is 5-9 years old and has about 50,000 inhabitants. Plots of former farm and swamp land were sold by a pseudo-owner and residents from the city and mountains flocked here for the opportunity to own their own land. Although the residents paid for their land, the government does not recognize the land as legally theirs because it was sanctioned off for agricultural use before the land-trafficer sold it. Working towards legalizing the land with community leaders is one of the primary objectives of my office.

These communitties face unique challenges as it is not recognized as legal land. We have no running water - water is delivered by a truck to our home about once a month. We have only one paved road leading up to our neighborhood. In the dry season the dust causes many lung related issues and in the rainy season the mud will make some roads inpassable. We have no electric meters in Mt Sinai. Most all electricity is stolen, and frequent power outages are common. The homes here are most often single cane houses built on stilts for protection during the rainy season (Hogar de Cristo provides cane home for $25 per month over 3 years and donates them to those in desperate conditions).

The target group of citizens living in Mt Sinai of the project live in grave, difficult, and complex conidtions. 8% of people over the age of 10 cannot read or writeñ a grave difficulty in finding work and earning wages for your family. Only 7.2% of the homes have access to water through the public network - 87% have access through water trucks, wells, etc which pose health risks. 45% work in commercial jobs, domestic jobs, and in informal manners. 24.9% homes make less than $200 per month and 57% make between $200 and $499.

In collecting the above data, the (translated) objective of the project of my office is to identify 200 vulnerable families from the Mt Sinai sector to participate in a process of changes in order to better the conditions of life in their territory and to take advantage of teh existing resources and opportunitites for development.

I´ll end with a quotation from Padre Alberto Hurtado, S.J. (founder of Hogar de Cristo) that really resonated with me during our orientation:

Ante cada problema, ante los grandes de la tierra, ante los problemas políticos de nuestro tiempo, ante los pobres, ante sus dolores y miserias, ante la defección de colaboradores, ante la escasez de operarios, ante la insuficiencia de nuestras obras: ¿qué haría Cristo si estuvieron en mi lugar?

-Padre Alberto Hurtado, S.J.

(Faced with each problem, faced with the greatness of the land, faced with the political problems of our time, faced with the poor, faced with their pains and miseries, faced with the defection of collaborators, faced with the scarcity of production, faced with the insufficiency of our works: What would Christ do if he were in my place?

Love and miss you all,
Colleen

Mt Sinai volunteers, old and new, at our last dinner together

This is our first week alone as Rostro volunteers, all the amazing ¨veteran¨volunteers left on Saturday. Last week we wrapped up orientation by discerning worksite placements for each volunteer after visiting them all, doing massive clean ups of the volunteer houses and had a fun day at the beach. For me and for many others it was our first time swimming in the Pacific Ocean - add in the peanut butter sandwiches we had for lunch and it was a perfect day!

I am excited to share that I will be working at a Jesuit organization called Hogar de Cristo in the office Proyecto Mejoramiento del Habitat y Desarrollo de las familias de Monte Sinai (basically community organizing). The organization approaches development and sustainability from many angles - some other offices include health, pastoral ministry, education, microfinance, and social agriculture. I´m hoping to have the opportunity to attend some of the workshops hosted by the microfinance office and collaborate on a few projects. It should be a great learning experience. I´m hoping to be able to explore all the different offices because I love the mission of the organization. We just learned yesterday that the vision of Hogar is ¨Estamos contribuyendo a la restitution de los derechos de las personas en mayor situacion de pobreza, vulnerabilidad o exclusion, incidiendo en transformaciones estructurales hacia una sociedad mas justa, equitativa, e incluyente en el Ecuador¨ (We are contributing to the restitution of the rights of people in situations of poverty, vulnerability or exclusion, influencing structural transformations towards a more just, equal, and inclusive society in Ecuador).

The first week at Hogar is going well - yesterday we had an all day orientation to the organization filled with many introductions and presentations. The woman leading the day said one things when speaking on the importance of the Jesuit identity of the organization that really resonated with me. She said that when she first began working, one of the Jesuit priests asked how she arrived here. She listed previous worksites and contacts at Hogar who helped her. The priest corrected her saying ´you are here with the accompaniment of God -this is exactly where God needs  you to be¨. She really had me questionin how often in the past few months as I´ve been questioned why I am choosing to volunteer for a year with Rostro de Cristo I have asked or responded to the questions ¨God why have you brought me here, what do you want of me? and then offered up my gifts in service.

Now that we are starting to settle in after our first two weeks of transition a few thoughts from orientation have continually resurfaced. First, back in Boston when we asked Rostro and JVC alums who came to present or hang out for advice, most had one similar answer - a smile, sometimes a chuckle, and ´you have no idea what lays ahead´. The alums were right - everything here is different than we envisioned and it´s interesting to think now, as we begin building relationships, how these neighbors will shape our year in Ecuador and our lives in general. While terrifying, yes, not knowing what is ahead, what a gift to be able to enter into this year with an open heart and and open heart with the most valuable thing we have to offer is simply our love.

Secondly, I was told ´you will feel alive everyday.´ These first weeks I have felt, I mean truly experienced, every single moment with all 5 senses. Feeling even those intangible concepts, like love, in tangible ways.

Lastly, an Ecuadorian phrase that we´ve heard repeatedly and are all trying to embrace is ´poco a poco´. (little by little) While we may daily express how nice it would be to wake up fluent in Spanish tomorrow, we can find life in the struggle in between. I am trying to slow down and embrace and appreciate each individual step of the journey.

While we are all doing well and enjoying our new placements and neighborhoods, I try to remain conscious of not romanticizing the poverty. The conditions many of our neighbor live in is grave and unjust. The land we live on isn´t even legalized by the government. Most of this first week at Hogar has been spent reading about the demographics and needs of the community and at some point in the future I hope to put together a summary to share with you all. So while it is easy in this honeymoon phase to almost envy the love, hospitality, etc of the poor, I am trying not to romanticize the situation tha they do not want to be living in. I cannot come into community organizing with any solutions either, just a willingness to accompnay and empower others to foster change. I think it will be a difficult, humbling, yet growth-inspiring process.

Love and miss you all!
Colleen